When I fell in love with Satan!

Satan, the devil, Lucifer whatever you will call him he is a representation of pure evil and gained a reputation of the ultimate enemy of humans. Recently I am defending him so much and use the name (Satan or Devil) to describe anyone I associate with one of his impressive characteristics.  That wasn’t always the case, I as well for so many years considered Satan as my enemy but for me the idea of him influencing my decisions didn’t seem right, because as a person who takes the full the responsibility of their actions that felt so illogical and unfair, and only then I started my journey of appreciation and respect for this imaginary character.

All Abrahamic religions consider Satan as the enemy that we don’t see yet so sure he exists somewhere, he is so powerful to convince us do things we shouldn’t do and the character challenges all type of authority when he knows he is right, he as well so damn brave to ask for the respect he thinks entitled for based on logical facts (at least based on Quran stories) for me looking at these characteristics make me respect Satan so much and stand in his side.

He is the rebel who said no to God when he felt he didn’t get the respect and appreciation he deserves, he said no to bowing for Adam because he believed that as an angel (who back then was obeying God) who was created of fire have a better position than the human who was created from mud and didn’t do anything impressive so far to gain that position; why we didn’t question that and why it was so bad to stand for himself and ask for the respect he deserves, why he should take the orders from God even when they made no sense to him and never put God’s authority into question? Isn’t that the character we appreciated so much in so many rebels and leaders in our daily life? So why when our holy books painted the same picture differently we took it without questioning and believed in it as if we were there when Satan refused to bow to Adam and offended us all!

He is the charming coach who make you reach your desires and achieve your goals, logically speaking you have the ideas already in your mind all Satan does is to make them more appealing to you and make it harder to resist going and achieving them without having a direct benefit of all this time he spent wasting on you, so technically speaking he just is the personal coach you need to achieve what you already have in mind (good or bad) so why to blame him for you poor choice instead of praising his rather impressive influencing skills!!!

He is that modest yet so confident character we all love, admit it or not; he is so sure of himself and able to influence us all, yet he rather stays in the shadow, with no appearance, no red carpet, and no publicity. He is the go do it guy and wait for no appreciation for whatever he does, to the contrary he knows after convincing, you do what you already wanted to do but was so coward to do it, you will blame him and say he was your excuse for disobeying God yet he always there for you whispering to you whenever you need extra motivation.

So many examples and so many situations I can state here to prove that Satan is not the enemy we need to hate rather a distraction for all the flaws and the weakness we have; we always in need of an excuse to rely on when things go bad and instead of taking the responsibility of our actions we blame them on the impressive character that we all wish to be!

Between two Polish cities

Since I moved to Krakow, I was and still surprised so much by the difference between Warsaw and Krakow, though both in the same country and should have the same culture but what I noticed that each city has its own characteristics that make it so different from the other to a shocking point.

Anyone knows me well, knows how much I LOVE Warsaw, not because I lived there for two years but because the moment I stepped out walking to my university during my first day in Poland I felt safe and I didn't feel as a stranger walking down the streets, I remember myself walking wearing my hijab and feeling that I liked this place to the point I want to be part of it, so when I noticed that people were staring at me feeling a little uncomfortable, I went back to my hotel and took off my hijab and went out again. That decision clarified for me from the first moment how much I like that city, and how much  I wanted to be integrated with it and feel at home and Warsaw never failed me. When I was there, for the first time in my life I was me 100% … I would say even 120% because even the things I didn't know about myself I discovered them in Warsaw, I felt for once that despite my weirdness I was accepted fully and no one cared about it, which one of my favorite characteristics about Warsaw and the worst at the same time; the feeling of not giving a f**k is very liberating and make you discover yourself fully without any fear or hesitation because you know no one will pass judgments, but that comes with the negative side as well, which is that no one really cares enough and detachment from emotions is the main theme for human interactions there, this taught me that I come first which something I needed to learn because before Warsaw I was a complete a selfless person in a very bad way which put a huge impact on my life so though I didn't like it much but I needed it at that point of my life.

Anyway, other things I enjoyed in Warsaw, that everybody is honest and blunt, most of the time they will tell you straightforward what they think even when it is quite tough and I didn't see the bad side of this habit until I moved to Krakow … then comes practicality of Warsawians, no matter how rich people there most of the time they are practical and they think of everything, which something I truly admire and respect but totally failed to learn, there I met awesome people who were the best despite their age, position or social status and I learned a lot from them and whenever I go out alone I met new people that I most of the time became friends with them and still in touch with them. Life there got a little intense and my introvert side of my character wanted to run because I was unable to have a month by myself, simply it was impossible in Warsaw to fight temptation and stay a while at home by myself so I offered a job in Krakow and I took it just to try Krakow and I was 100% that by the end of my contract; maximum, I will be back to my home and first love Warsaw …. But then Krakow happened!

I moved to Krakow in August, the city was beautiful and breathtaking beyond reality, I found the best apartment ever and I lacked nothing at all, but for the first three months, I hated Krakow so bad that I was ready to go back to Warsaw but I didn't want to be a quitter and I decided to give it a little time, and then the magic happened, though I liked Krakow quite much but I was struggling to be integrated into the life there, what I discovered later that I was suffering cultural shock … Yes it is possible to have a cultural shock moving from city to another  but I didn't even consider the option because I have great adaptation skills and even when I left my home country I didn't suffer at all and quickly got on the rhythm of polish life so how that happened?! The thing is, that when I moved from Warsaw I was not prepared for a big change, I assumed that Krakow won’t be much different but then I was shocked by the difference and I struggled much to adjust my character especially after I was completely behaving myself in Warsaw which something doesn't work in Krakow.

Beautiful Krakow though it is a touristic hub, still pretty many conservatives, I remember the first week I got here and started to make my sarcastic jokes I noticed people being a little uncomfortable, people here are quite shy and reserved and to the opposite of Warsaw, Krakowians are very indirect in their interactions, they are not much friendlier than Warsawians but they wouldn't show if they don’t like you or have some remarks regarding you they will rather to feel hurt by your attitude than to confront you with their feelings or observations, which something I really couldn't deal with at the beginning because I am very direct person and I don’t like hiding things, in the same time I will say whatever I want not to offend anyone but because I have this need to express myself clearly but I was quite often misunderstood for a very aggressive person … or a cold heart bitch :S

Another thing, though people here have less income than Warsaw, I noticed that they are less practical and they like to show what they have which is kind of my style of life, though you can find decent cheap places still you can get treated to very fancy style if you like and I am totally happy about this part. Another aspect, people here in Krakow care and when they care they show it, I had really good friends in Warsaw but most of the time they will not go out of their way to help or do anything, but in Krakow, people do care and they are pretty proud of it.

Then here I had to learn how to balance between what I have learned in Warsaw and what I am facing in Krakow, I had to tone down my straightforwardness; and I am still working on it, trying to still be the honest me but in a sweet way that might not hurt sensitive people and impressive enough I learned to care; when I was in Warsaw I enjoyed not caring too much and not giving a f**k to anything which is easier than finding the balance between care and not to care, I still struggle here because though I do care, the fact that I do care bothers me a lot, because when you care you get emotionally attached and accordingly, you start to want, need and stress as normal human beings which something for a while I stopped doing and it was a relief, it really bothers me that the people I met here could get into my emotions and feeling which is something I protected for almost 3 years untouched, though I really cared enough about certain people I never cared much to feel hurt or disappointed which something totally changed the moment I decided to adapt to Krakow lifestyle and I hope I don’t regret it.

Eventually, both Warsaw and Krakow managed to give me lessons to learn from and changed me enough to be feel attached to both of them but the move between them impacted my balance so much, which something I am grateful for, though I am still unhappy with some aspects of Krakow effect I know it is a good change, the question that leaves me confused now, that if I have to choose where to settle in the next few years which city I will choose??

I will be totally honest and say ... I have no idea at all, and here comes the time to use SWOT analysis again after investigating the data ..... So Warsawian of me :P 

Perfect Imperfection

           

            If anyone asks me to describe myself in one word, the word "WEIRDO" will be the first thing that pops up in my mind not because I enjoy the element of shock that I see in people’s face but because it is the ultimate truth about me, if I will try to describe myself precisely nothing will come out of that because I am seriously unusual human being, full of unexpected traits and contradicting characteristics; sometimes. The reason I believe is one of my core values that I committed to long time ago, I think I was in junior high school back then and while I was thinking about my difference I decided to make peace with it, enjoy it and most importantly make my weakness my own strength and uniqueness.

My identity crisis story as follows; I was very different since I was a lil kid very independent, stubborn and strong to the opposite of that I was very cheerful, diplomatic and social which was strange compo, anyways I am a thinker since I was 5 years old, I remember my questions for my dad and mom and feel sorry for them that they had to deal with me since a very early age, that continued for long years, sometimes my family liked it some time it was annoying and unacceptable, I survived with all my weirdness untacked, here come high school and all the big decision you need to make about your future and I felt totally lost and overwhelmed, I was intelligent but not the usual intelligent I wasn't excellent in one thing like science or math or art, I wasn't excellent in activities and social level and networking; I was very good at everything … I was very good at anything I focus on enough .. but the school, family even society was pushing me to be good at one thing or one field and commit to it, I tried, I experiment but I couldn't, I failed miserably in everything and in the journey for excellence, I lost my gift and in the first year of the high school I did really bad and I ended up with having no social life no activities and bad grades; my dad was so disappointed because he always told me that I could be whoever I want to be because I have my brain and it will be whatever I want it to be, for me at that time that was a very deep philosophy I failed to understand, and I debated with him that we have limited intelligence pre-determined by our genetics and our brain structure, he tried to explain to me the defect in this theory and I didn't understand back then but I totally understand what he meant now. Anyways by the end of the year, I thought about everything and I was about to decide what to do regarding my identity crisis; I was thinking that I love painting, calligraphy and being involved in other activities and organizing events in school but on the other hand I love my Arabic, English, Biology, algebra, statistics, economy, history, logic, philosophy and psychology classes I don’t want to choose between being intelligent or socially intelligent  I didn't want to choose to be a geek in one of subjects and I don’t want to have to choose and I felt completely shattered by the pressure I faced, I knew I can’t be super intelligent in one thing because I can’t give 100% to only one thing my best is to give 80% and in special cases 90% when my passion overwhelms me and for me, 80% was more than enough, if it is not enough for others it is enough for me and if anyone is not happy with that they can do whatever they want in their own life not to tell me what to choose. I made my decision and I decided to take the art section of my high school study not the science section because I know it will need 100% commitment and I wasn't ready to give that, add to that I already made up my mind what I will study in the college which not my first love (medicine) because I realized I can’t deal with peoples suffering and blood even in the sake of saving their life, I discussed my decision with my dad and he objected, after long discussions I told him I will think about it, went the next day to school and enrolled in the Art section went back home and informed my dad of my decision; my whole family were waiting for the disaster to happen when I told my dad, he was a military general and professor .. He was not used to objections or rebellious acts when he said something it is DONE but I had enough courage to challenge that, he asked me why I didn't listen to him, I simply told him because I thought of what best for me, and I value his opinion but it is me who going to live with that choice and I know that he wants me to have broader options when it comes to college but I already know what I will study so he shouldn't worry … my answer left him speechless, for the first time I saw my dad not being able to answer with a very  satisfied smile lit his face, and that was enough for me to know I gave him a reason to trust me. Of course, my older siblings thought of it as the young child luck and that I get always what I want because of my value as the spoiled last girl in the family which was far from the truth and I didn't bother to explain it to them.

I don’t like to share personal stories and old memories with complete strangers just for fun, I write to share experiences and values that I hold dear to my heart. The moral of my identity crisis story that I have learned through failure and being lost for a big part of my life that perfection is not the ultimate goal and not everybody can be perfect; actually being totally perfect in limited fields is limited itself and boring which something not everybody can handle, I am not saying here that perfection and 100% dedication is bad because this perfection and dedication is what created many marvelous things and made so many people very famous like Einstein, Bach, Newton, Beethoven …etc but not everyone can be like that not because we lack the mental ability but because we have differences and that’s the beauty of life; imagine a world full of geniuses in all types of fields … distinctions will lose its meaning and we won’t be impressed by anything anymore. But the true beauty is to accept who we are and find the uniqueness and distinction that lays underneath that, the amazing gift is how to be perfect imperfection, do things that make us happy and excel in that. I could have chosen to be great in biology and I would because I loved biology and I was really great at that subject but I would give 100% of my time to that, to be a biologist who doesn't have time to do anything outside the lab, I could have chosen to be the social genius who spends all the time talking and networking and I would rock that but I will not have the time to read in different fields and be knowledgeable as I wanted to be and that’s sad for me at least. I am happy with my choice because now I am perfect imperfection, I adore the 80% ish I get in everything, I do all I love to do without limits because my time is mine and I decide I will be great in which field this week .. this month .. this year, I design my horizons, and destinations because I have no limits to what I want to achieve or get involved with and for me that works perfectly … and guess what 80% is perfect enough in this life, sometimes even 80% is too perfect because then you will be a whole universe of possibilities and abilities with no end or limits and this is perfect for you and me and anybody who think outside the box and don’t want just to follow whatever they have been told, that is perfect for anyone who finds the courage to trust themselves and challenge whatever needs to be challenged to reach their inner peace and their ultimate contentment. 

Life is not easy and the whole world is telling us who we are, don’t allow it and be whoever you want to be, concepts like perfection, success, happiness, joy and even values are not as they seem to be or not the way we were told they are, we have to discover what these concepts mean to us; us the very unique individual each one of us is and stop listening to anything except your own inner voice that will lead you to the perfect imprecation within you where you will find your true self.

The Wish That Came True

I made a wish at the end of 2012 and out of all the wishes I made it was the one that I actually got, not by my hard work but by pure luck and was living with me in disguise!

I wished to only meet honest people with no lies or betrayal, but since I didn't believe in my own wish I didn't pay attention and looked at things differently - had my reasons but ...

During 2013 -2014 I met amazing people who was nothing but honest with me almost all the time and straightforward in the intense way that left bruises all over my soul, I didn't see that, because honestly sometimes can hurt if it is delivered in a way we are not used to .. and being around straightforward people can change your whole existence; that can make you greedy sometimes and ask for way more. I only realized this now; that I got what I wished for but I am still unsatisfied, maybe I should wished for honest, straightforward and open like a book kind of people, who have the ability to sugar coat their honesty .. but the truth is that is not going to happen. What I had so far is the best it can get, and if anything should be modified or fixed will be my attitude toward the gift I was blessed with.

During these past two years, I met people who told me exactly what they thought of me, how they felt about me, shared with me their thoughts, ideas, believes and sometimes even their dreams, I loved that but I didn’t appreciate it as it should be appreciated, I hurt some of them unintentionally, I required more and I set my expectations and expected them to meet my own standards and when they failed I considered it as dishonesty because they didn’t explain what they had in their mind, they didn’t share with me the whole story or simply because they changed their mind regarding something and instead of deceiving me they just shared half the story with me, because sometimes the rest was either personal or something they didn’t want to share with anyone and unfortunately, I didn’t see that for what it is, instead I was focused on my honesty standards that I put in front of them which blinded me from seeing things as they really are and accordingly, didn’t allow me to realize the ridiculousness of my standards that I imposed on people they cared about me enough to share a large part of their lives with me.

I am one of those who preaches about expectations and how we shouldn’t have expectations for other to fulfill and that we should accept people unconditionally without trying to changing them, and still, I fell into the expectation trap, somehow I allowed my standards to take the joy out of my life and blind me from what really matters, which is the same case that happens when we set certain expectations for others to fulfill and with the disappointment I felt I allowed all of that to cloud my mind to see thing as they are when a friend was open with me about their feeling toward me and showed their attachment to me with all honesty, I rejected it because instead of appreciating their feeling and accepting it gracefully I got annoyed and wanted to know what is going inside their mind … another time when someone shared a lot of what in their mind and invited me into their life; though they rarely do, I asked for more, when they wanted to keep something for themselves I over-thought the whole situation and interpreted the whole story in a different way and I made them feel misunderstood … another friend was honest with me beyond all my wishes and was telling me everything they thought I needed to know in a joke or a sarcastic comment, again I over-thought and translated the whole situation differently, I didn’t accept other kinds of honesty than mine, I wanted them to come and say things straightforward while they already did but in their own … another person who really liked me respected me and valued my opinions so they were approaching me all the time seeking my opinion, advise or guidance they were beyond honest with me and instead of appreciating that I looked at it as a weakness and inability to control their life and emotions; I was stupid to let my standards allow me to judge them which is something I never allowed and a line I never crossed … another person who I really liked and they liked me as well shared aspects of their life with me and were honest and genuine enough to let me know that though they like me a lot they can’t be with me because of circumstances beyond our control and instead of appreciating that I just allowed that to hunt my thoughts and destroy their reliability in my mind and I was too selfish to see things from their perspective. I can go on and on with stories where I seem like a very horrible person, while the truth I am not .. my mistake was, I allowed the illusions of perfection to blind my sight from the blessing I had, a mistake that we do all over again during our long life with different aspects and in regard to different values, my value was honesty and I wanted unlimited honesty, and my perfection tendency set up a high standard for anyone to meet, and while I thought others failed me, in reality, I didn’t only fail myself but I failed them as well. I didn’t allow them to be themselves I just wanted them to be themselves my way which is the most hurtful thing anyone can do.

Anyways, the point from these long three pages are that sometimes certain systems within ourselves set ridiculous understanding boundaries between us and the people around us, it takes different shapes, concepts, and forms though it might seem harmless and even sometimes take the form of greatness, it simply not .. If we want to be happy and appreciate the small things in life we should be open to accepting things unconditionally and don’t allow our value system to sabotage our views of others or set some restrictions that exist only in our own minds, we should never impose our own standards on others no matter how great we think they are. That is not easy, and cannot be achieved instantly but at least we can try to put ourselves in the place of the other and see things from their perspective and still, then we won’t have the whole view of what they see and then we can make an excuse for the other because they are just another human being full of flaws and contradictions and by doing that we actually give ourselves the chance to see things as simple as they are and rest our mind from moving like roller-coaster in a hopeless attempt to understand what is not understandable.

P.S. My deep apology for anyone I hurt or misunderstood while they were nothing but honest to me, my sin is over-thinking and sometimes it just makes me unable to see things for what they are .. but I am grateful for having the clarity of the heart and soul to see what I did wrong, and I am grateful for eternity for having you in my life.

Spirituality .. The Lost Jewel

            Been a while since I got in touch with myself and as a result, I was unable to write anything meaningful or worth reading, but since it is the night of the last day of the year I glued myself to the laptop to write something. Writing for me is the freedom from everything and the way I keep my well-being, I use it as an indicator for my mental and spiritual stability and balance because when I am fine and balanced I can find the words and express my thoughts clearly inflow of words but when there is chaos in my heart or mind all words get scared and hide in the caves of my very complicated mind.

The last five months were not so easy, I had so much going on in a result, I was unable to clearly see what really happening and where all the chaos started, when there is any problem in life the solution always lays in the problem itself, we need to know the root cause to figure out a solution and to anticipate future problems and put solutions for them before they even occur; That was my strategy for so many years but when chaos occupy something for a long time then it is easy to get distracted and lose your sharp mind and focus and that was my case but I am grateful that this happened because it helped me to realize more interesting facts that I kind of let it slip from my mind recently.

During our journey in life we get occupied, busy and distracted by too many things, we have so many things to chase; career, relationships, finance, knowledge, ambition… etc and especially with modern life and all the knowledge we gain during our journey we just start to ignore the very basic things that keep us as individuals sane and balanced which is I might call it spiritualties, others may call it religions, energy whatever. Whatever you call it; this balance weight is something a lot of us ignore or dismiss during our hectic journey because we think we are smart for that and it a result of a big mess and chaos that usually we don’t even think twice it might be caused by what may some call stupid reasons.

If we will think about the whole spirituality realm, I think we would find simple answers to everything including why religions and all philosophies exist. Brain is an amazing mechanism, and incredible organ that works consistently without break, without having time out, but I do believe it can get overwhelming for our brain sometimes and this can mess us up, because it is not clear for us when to quit and give our brain a break, always mental health was unimportant issue because usually it doesn't lead to major defect in our body, it usually reflects in our psychological and mental health which is not something obvious for others in most cases; it is something we can hide and don’t give it a big attention, and a long with the bad reputation mental disorders had it made it even more complicated to touch this issues.

Anyways, the simple humans lived thousands of years ago, realized that our brain and soul need a break without making it accumulating all this exhaustion to a real issue, and because the life long way back was unpolluted and the mentality and thinking of people lived there were simple they came up with meditation, prayers, Yoga, Kabala …etc as a daily ritual that somehow with the time it started to be connected with higher reasons and purposes and voila .. we had a way, but with time people started to neglect that part because we grow more knowledgeable and smart for such legends and stories and between our fight and quarrels to undermine the importance of religions or philosophies and who is right and who is wrong we lost the important thing behind all of this, the balance weights for our existence, it doesn't matter if you pray, meditate, practice Yoga, whatever; the important thing that this practice is not stupid or without reason, and people a long time ago didn't come up with it for no reason, they had a simpler life than we have now still they saw the need to cut time out daily, weekly or even monthly to restore the balance in your mind and soul, you need to give their mind a break from thinking about urgent things to focus on clearing up some pending issues or just reorganize thoughts and re-energize, it might sound silly to some but only people who practice that know it really does work, having a ritual to rest our brain keep us, focused on what really matters, keep us happy because it directs us to what is important and most importantly it makes us emotionally and mentally balanced and stable.

Some might agree, some might not but I am a big believer in this and the last five months, actually to be totally honest, the last  two years of my life proved to me that what we think of is who we are, I always had my rituals, sometimes they were religious sometimes they were just what I created for myself but they always helped me to find my way and be who I am, during our fight to find our way we might reject valuable concepts that were covered by lies or illusions that we despise but let’s not reject them because they belonged to something we didn't like … we should just take the valuable concepts out of the dust clean them and put them where they deserve to be.

So let’s start a new year where we take time out, without getting scared that others might think we are weak, let’s stay at home alone without getting shy that people may think we are introverts, let’s pray, meditate, practice whatever keeps us balanced without worrying how others judge us, let’s love ourselves enough to stop, working, studying or even taking care of our loved ones once in a while and go back to our caves and put things in order to be able to continue further in harmony between our mind, soul, and body where the whole mechanism works together not against each other.

We are what we think, so let’s take care of our brains the engines of thoughts and our souls the cisterns of our emotions.

Happy New Year and let 2015 bring all happiness, success and contentment to everyone in this planet.

The Universality of Human Rights

               The universality of Human Rights is just a concept and claim rather than a reality, and the answer lies in the word “universality” itself. Although we might think of Human Rights as a universal concept that should be applied to, accepted, and agreed upon by all human beings in any place in the world, but the unfortunate truth that states’ politics, cultures, and religions still play major roles to impact people’s values and acceptance to certain concepts that are out of their traditional value systems.

Despite that Human Rights seek to promote equality for all humans without considering their race, religion, nationality or gender which theoretically can prove the universality of the rights, but we can say that the background of people affects their consent to Human Rights and their actual commitment to them. The declaration of Human Rights is relatively a new concept that challenges much older traditions, cultures and religions that already set their values upon people and it is hard to go against them especially in more traditional communities which are attached to their claims of their own sovereignty, culture or religion and find Human Rights threatening because they impose new values; some might call them western values, another might call them irreligious values and others might call them individualistic or capitalistic, according to where they come from and what background they have. 

In depth, Human Rights seek the protection of individual rights; not creating collective rights designed for specific groups, which means every human being is free to operate within or out of community, religion structure and give them the protection to practice their individual freedom which might be disturbing to the law and order of certain community, religion or political structure in certain places in our small world. 

In sum, although Human Rights are universal in their claim and nature, they are not in practice and reality, not because of the content of the rights themselves but in regard of the diversity the rights challenge, not only the religious and cultural diversity of the world but the political diversity as well, which make it hard to adopt a concept by different people from different backgrounds and value systems. 

The Life Where I Come From

       Where I come from everything is intense, we take everything to the extreme، we love extremely, we hate extremely as well … we express passionately, even when we shut up our silence full of meanings.

We use our hands, faces and all body language to convey what we want, we insist and stress on everything, we probably will remind you of something thousand times.

There in that warm soil; people will celebrate you when you go to them like it is a special occasion, we take luxury and fun to new horizons … we are relaxed and do not rush anything, we take it slow and enjoy every second when we can.

There you probably would not notice the difference between rich and poor because each of them spends till the last penny in their wallet and when you ask them how they manage they will smile and tell you that tomorrow has a God and he will take care of it!

All of this intensity is not a crazy choice or a weird desire but it comes from a deep understanding of life, with extreme life, people have to face every single day … they know that they have to live the day because tomorrow might never come, they value the seconds because they know it is the most important part of the time; actually, it is what makeup minutes and hours!

They express everything without holding back because they know they might have no other chance to express their love, hate, anger, joy and even boredom. They have faith and hope because they have no other choice and that is the only thing they afford to feel to be able to survive!

Life is celebrated when everything is going well because in the midst of the chaos they live in; they know that routine is something unique, something must be appreciated and valued ... It is crazy but we get excited when the electricity is back after hours of darkness, we take pictures of the full fuel meter in the car after hours waiting in queues to fill the car; which happens that we have a lot of if to export but have a crisis to provide it to the local market!

We are simple people, enjoy basic things in life because we are deprived of them, we learned that no matter how much money we have, or what the position we hold; all this cannot make us live normally so we know money is just a way not a purpose by itself, and accordingly we use it that way.

Many people outside that part of the world fail to understand our lifestyle because for them living in these conditions is unimaginable; so better to stop trying to understand us; you need to be there and to experience certain feelings to be able to understand us,

Simply, our life is just a rollercoaster we do not control, we have the choice either to enjoy it and go with it, or cry and scream the whole ride, and it is a long long ride you enjoy your whole life because of you are doomed to be born in the dark warm soil of Yemen.