The Problem is Your Mindset, Not Your Flaws

We are all have some flaws, most of the time we need to explore and understand them. Even attempt to fix them but completely get rid of them, that could change the core of our being. This is a simple concept, but many of us struggle to understand it. The majority believe flaws are something we need to get rid of to be able to be better, this is far from the truth. To understand the depth of our biases & inhibitions does not necessarily mean to kill it. It means to track it down, understand the triggers, find the source of it and rationalize the cause and only then practice enough self-control and discipline to stop ourselves from falling to the same traps.

The issue is most people go to war against themselves to kill their flaws. Some understand it is something to fix not to get rid of, but they stop at stage one or two. Rarely people are mindful/conscious enough to go deeper and if they are, unfortunately, the majority of the time they lack enough discipline and self-control to say “NO” to themselves or stop themselves from repeating patterns. That gets even harder when they feel vulnerable, then there is an excuse. The issue with this mindset is getting trapped in a vicious cycle of occurrences that they blame on the world and that makes it even harder to find the motivation to break free because from inside the cycle it seems it is all inevitable.

Here we can understand that mindfulness/consciousness alone is not enough. Mindset and habits are a huge part of the process. Being mindful with a fixed mindset creates even more suffering, people under this category are suffering the most. They are aware of all necessary but they lack the attitude to drive the change. They see everything and attempt to change it but then they are unable to overcome the obstacles or have enough determination to get it over with because they tend to relapse easier than people with a growth mindset.

On the other hand, being mindful and with a growth mindset, those the rare species. Those people are aware, mindful, and conscious. Have enough discipline and self- control to push themselves to overcome the obstacles and challenges they encounter through their journey. We call those people lucky or fortunate but the truth is they are neither. Those people endure more pain than others and they have a great deal of valor than the rest, and they do all of this in silence therefore, we consider them lucky.

I always say, life is way more complex than we think of it. There are too many aspects of life that get us where we need to be. It is never about one or two things it is almost always about the combination of aspects that allow us to live happily or in misery. The only constant thing is that we are the force behind everything and that the universe is connected in a magical way. It seems too good/bad to be true (depends on your perspective) but observing the world can lead us to this ultimate fact. There is no luck, no coincidences in this life. It is all part of a sequence of actions that we consciously or unconsciously take. It is easier to think of them as arbitrary because then we are less responsible for whatever happens to us.

We can think of all this complexity as a beautiful thing which allows us the opportunity to transcend to a high level of being and enjoy the good and the bad as part of the lessons to the enlightenment. Another option is to think of it as chaos and suffering we have to endure until it is the time to depart. Again it is a choice we are to make, to live the life with a light hopeful heart or burdened saddened heart. Ken Kesey once described this so beautifully:

“It isn't by getting out of the world that we become enlightened, but by getting into the world…by getting so tuned in that we can ride the waves of our existence and never get tossed because we become the waves.”