Memories

              

              At the very end, what you really leave behind is just a strange memory of who you are, how you lived, loved and connected. And the funny thing is; these memories will rarely match what they intended to be!

             One day you will die, and one unexpected person will shed tears for losing you, will suffer a real heartache whenever your name is mentioned. They weren't your best friend nor someone you have seen often, not necessarily. What actually made your loss matter to them is the memories you left them with, the kindness you offered them when they weren't expecting. The true human connection that touched their heart. Life is NOTHING more than a collection of memories we live to accumulate but as well, leave for others. Everything in life ends and what is left are the feelings lingering afterward.

           Hell and paradise are just the feelings and memories left for the soul to take with to the journey after. Regrets and remorse are the pain of hell. Peace and contentment are the joy of paradise. Your life is just the equation that will result in how much of each part you are going to offer to your soul. However, It is easier to think life is arbitrary. It is simpler to live the delusion of immortality. Even better, to think there is a bigger picture to life than what actually is, and chase the years trying to figure out that purpose unsuccessfully. Yet it is that bluntly simple, life is nothing more than what meets the eye - or in this case " what meets the brain"- Life is just a collection of feelings and memories.

             Funny how most of the time you live wasting your life trying to make sense of it and give it a bigger meaning than it has. While the whole thing is just in front of your eyes all the time. You live a whole life following stupid programming to discover after many years that simply your childhood instinct was what is life is all about. The genuine moments of being are what really matters, the genuine moments of right here, right now. This GENUINE NOW creates our life (past-present-future), this now makes you who you are and leave a trace of it is happening in a dark corner of your brain to be used sometime, somehow. All the money, success, glamour goals are a distraction or at best a sham attempt to replicate this childlike moments and memories that you fail to recreate simply because you cannot fake it.

              Clarity is all you need to adjust the equation of life, to produce the weight you want to carry around and the memories you want to share in life. Mindfulness, mushin, peace, zen, tranquility ... really doesn't matter which word you use and which state of mind and heart you chose to live by. All comes down to clarity and awareness of the meaningless of life. Meaningless in a humble sense, not the desperate one. Your biology controls your being and through evolution created an iron shield to protect its existence. A very effective system to survive as a collective group of animals yet not very suitable for modern neocortex humans. All the ego, defenses, and survival mechanisms play a major role in your survival as species yet can be detrimental to your being ... to your memories

             Eventually, even bitter memories are better than nothing. Death is not scary by itself, rather the feeling of nothingness we associate it with ... the feeling of the unknown. Memories are the only remedy we have against the nothingness of life and death.

          In memory of once was a friend Kacper