Daddy's Girl

 

                

We come to this life without a choice, we don’t choose our family, genetics nor our destiny. It feels like a lottery and that lottery have the power to influence our whole existence. Every March of every year I think of this. The last week of March is when I was born and the second week of March is when my winning lottery ticket was taken away from me. On the 12^th of March,  my friend, my role model, my hero and my backbone departed this world early by a sudden stroke. I can say it was the hardest moment of my life, seeing the strongest man I ever knew laying down on the floor motionless. When I saw the pride and glory that always defined his strong features fade; that was the moment I knew he was gone forever.

I avoided remembering that memory for years, I lived like he was still there. Imagining his voice telling me what to do and how to survive while he is away. Day by day the voice faded until eventually I was left alone completely. I had to decide either to grief or celebrate forever the memory of the best thing that has ever happened to me. Since I am my daddy’s girl I chose the celebration. I might grief the fact I had too short of a time with him but he left nothing for me but to celebrate. I am a proud daughter of a wonderful father, a great military general, a wise knowledgeable professor and the kindest & most helpful person I met. I am not saying that because he was my father, anyone who knew him will tell the same story. He was very tough, stubborn as hell but underneath that shield, he was the person you can trust his judgment and ask for help and know for a fact that if he said he will be there; he will.

He was my lottery ticket because for me every success I achieved, every battle I won because of him genetically but as well habitually. He taught me strength when my world asked me to be weak, he trusted me when I didn’t trust myself and he was there for me every time I needed him. He taught me mental and physical toughness. He showed me that knowledge and wisdom are the only way to rounded life. My dad over the years showed me how to raise my voice in a patriarchy world and develop pragmatic thinking in an arbitrary society. He wasn’t an angel for sure but he was all I needed a father to be and more. I think the only thing I can blame him for is the expectation he set for what a man should be. He was an old fashion gentleman, beautiful, strong and extremely intelligent. I grew up drawing my expectations of men watching him, which is not fair to anyone. I know he was my king because he was my dad but still the bar was set too high. I have been treated my whole life as a princess, no matter what happens I still feel the pride, bravery and entitlement of a princess!

Like every year, I am writing these words to send my gratitude to the soul of my beloved father. Usually, I try not to be ostentatious but when it comes to my father I want the world to know what a wonderful soul he was and how lucky I feel that he was my father and my role model. He is the light in my heart, the strength in my mind and the love that goes through my veins to the whole world. 

I love you beyond love itself  <3 Until I see you again.