"The Japanese say you have three faces. The face you show to the world, the face you show to your close ones, and the face you show no one; and the last is the truest reflection of who you are." Although I agree in so many ways with this statement at the same time I have some reservations. The human nature is so complex that we constantly try to simplify it to ourselves, we might be aware of this complexity but in most cases, we really can't comprehend what is beyond the surface, and that's exactly what drives me to believe that we as humans have more than three faces.
Actually, we are different with each human we interact with, we change and transform based on others interaction with us just like any chemical component in this life. Some people might make us valuable but the interaction with other might turn us completely toxic. We still the same person in the core to both of them and to ourselves but each one brought out a different version of you to the surface. The poisonous reaction doesn't mean any of the components necessarily toxic, but the elements did react to each other in a way that created a poison. The same when it comes to human nature, we are the chemical composition of our lives and our background, habits and nature are the elements that sometimes doesn't go well with other people and despite our effort to bring a different result, the result remains the same every time we try.
It is much easier to believe that we are a component with three very tolerant elements that can bond and mix with other elements equally the same; therefore we try and try. Thinking we can create whatever we want, which can give us a feeling of comfort and give us hope to try more. Until we discover too late that there was a mistake in this equation, or even worse to never know there was a mistake a keep trying, lose hope or eventually hate the world because it doesn't make sense or fit well to the preconceived ideas that simplified human nature and life and made us all believe that thing is as simple and superficial as they seem to us as spectators.
We keep feeling bad for some feelings we have, blame ourselves/others or even feel insecure toward so many things and never even try to think to accept the fact that sometimes things are the way they are for a reason and although we might know the reason doesn't mean we can change anything about it. Especially when it comes to other people with all their complexity and chemistry. We accept so many things in life; like not mixing Chloramine and Ammonia because we know they produce toxic gases but in the same sense we keep coming back to toxic people repeatedly hoping for a different result all the time from our interaction with them but we end up disappointed and hurt because we think we are only "this and that" so how come I am "different" with this person.
We might be the sweetest person ever but there are few people bring out the worst in us, and after that, we feel bad and ask why that happened and try again and we get to the same situation that started this. A better option is to ask ourselves why we felt that way and understand if (most of the time) we behaved poorly without obvious reason that means we responded to unconscious triggers the other person sent us. That doesn't necessarily mean they sent it consciously or on purpose so the best option is to let it go; in sense, it is not their fault nor yours, just some people don't get along and that's it. And instead of wasting time and energy we should just accept them as part of life.
We might be in a relationship or have a family member that always bring negative emotions to us, and because we think we should have one face to those close to us we keep forcing ourselves, or forcing the relationship to go in the way we think it should be. We struggle and suffer if it doesn't and blame ourselves repeatedly for not trying hard enough or feeling the way we feel. But guess what it doesn't get better and most of the times time won't make it better. Of course, understanding and compassion always help but when basic chemicals are reacting violently with each other best option is to accept that and make peace with it, and NEVER force it. Yes it is difficult here, it might be someone very close or dear to us, someone we have been with for long time or even someone from our own blood but that doesn't mean we have to force our interaction or expect a positive result. It is much easier and mature to accept that this person is the way they are for a reason beyond our comprehension and that we have a reason to be the way we are. This by itself create a sense of peace; it resembles putting Chloramine and Ammonia next to each other but in sealed glass containers. Yes, they are there on the same shelf but we didn't allow them to interact.
The same with our feeling; acknowledging and admitting the difference and not forcing deeper connection resembles putting our feelings in a glass container. Then not allowing ourselves to interact in negative experimentation is like putting a seal on the container. So we can be in the same room with a person that triggers a negative reaction but still avoid all the discussions or situations that will make both of us go to negativity. Or even sometimes we have to put an end to toxic relationships and resist the urge to go back and try again or fix it. If people didn't give you the desired result at the beginning, most probably they wouldn't give you the desired result at the end, no matter how much effort you put. The best option is to choose peace over everything and give ourselves the freedom of being. Without preconceived ideas from society, family or even culture and philosophy. We are our own being, if we feel something deeply wrong inside of us, most of the time it has a logical reason that we will discover at some point. Just our complex nature and layered psyche make it hard to see sometimes clearly and realize things in real time. But after a while, everything seems clear and things tend to fall into place.
We are never one thing or another, we are EVERYTHING and the unlimited universe is our limit!
