Why "You look like a Model" isn't a compliment

A lot of people get surprised when I get bothered by a compliment like "You look like a model" or "You should be a model" and how strongly I feel about such topic, not because I look down at models or I think I am better but because I think this topic has a strong impact on people and on our human culture, in general, that's why I am writing this post; to explain why from my point of view "You look like a model" is not a compliment and shouldn't be broadly used or accepted.

I do understand that we are superficial and get attracted to others mainly by their appearance, which is pretty normal and understandable but what I consider wrong is when appearance become everything that matters when appearance presented as superior quality or even when appearance overshadows more important qualities. Certainly, we are more than how we look, but living in a world that puts so much emphasis on looks make people glorify beauty in a disgusting manner which affects people, especially young ones in a really negative way.

Being a model literally requires NOTHING, seriously! You don't need qualifications, talent or knowledge to walk down the runway, all you need is your looks which is something predetermined by your genetics (or in some cases how much money you can spend on surgeries) and few skills no-brainer can't learn but still we find models (males and females) are categorized in the top of social structure and being viewed as role models in so many cases especially recently. Magazines, internet, and shows are presenting advises from models from dieting, fitness, fashion to even how to live your life which represents the flawed mentality of today's life. Models are not nutritionists, they might look healthy but most of the time they are not following healthy diets, models are not fitness experts, they have their own trainer who advises them and guides them all the time, and models are not fashion experts; though that might sound ridiculous but think about it, yeah they work in the fashion industry but again they have their own stylists and they only show what the designer or brands want them to represent so basically modeling is living as a doll or a manikin nothing more, something without a soul or a value.

Of course I don't mean models are less of human beings or less intelligent than any one of us, I bet there are many models who are amazing human beings and have awesome lives beside their modeling career but what I am saying is that modeling not that glorious as it seems and it doesn't require much and certainly is not the happiest career or life, there is this all dark side to it and so much stress based on superficiality, and that's why I feel so strongly toward this subject. I don't like Models being the standard I am compared to though I acknowledge the importance of appearance I don't want to be judged solely on that, I want people to see beyond looks, to care more about character, knowledge, and mentality. I want more valuable qualities to be glorified; like intelligence, compassion, open-mindedness, tolerance, joyfulness ... etc because eventually that what really matters. Looks easily can be faked, plastic surgeries are more common and accepted today than ever .. Funny enough you can take even a loan to have plastic surgery in some countries, people growing to be this obsessed with their looks which I think is very unhealthy because it drives us to the wrong direction as civilization. 

Many people will debate; what a harmless compliment as "you look like a model" has to do with our degradation as a civilization? I will respond with "A LOT" it might not be a big deal for me as a strong, grown-up person but it does a lot to a little girl/boy or a teenager, it builds up their self-perception, self-esteem, and their self-value. It classifies their values and what is important in life. it harms so much that person who suffers self-acceptance because we are molding beauty in one form and saying in an indirect way that beauty comes only in 0/XS size or in a certain height and weight which is a very distorted concept of beauty for me. Every person in this life is beautiful in their own way, and what really matters is being healthy and happy, being knowledgeable and intelligent as much as you can, and certainly beauty is when you try to be the best version of yourself and be nice, interesting, funny, compassionate, humane  and most importantly, not being a judgmental prick!

Words have tremendous power on us, we usually tend to underestimate, so a harmless compliment can build the concept or the value that we should be so careful designing because it doesn't change reality for us alone but it has an impact on life itself. Why we don't stop the comparisons all at once; I would like to be complemented by my own uniqueness, by my own concept and by my own kind of beauty. It is equally good to say simply you are beautiful without limiting that with a certain concept and let people define their own concept of beauty. That will enable people to live with their own concept of beauty and will allow us to see different types of beauty that we are not open enough now to see it. Beauty is a representation of not only looks but a soul and character as well, that we can't see until we neglect the current one-sided concept of beauty.

We are more than how we look!

Enslave the time

           

          A busy world and busy people accordingly no one finds time for anyone anymore, partially true but in my world, you always can find the time for whatever you want the only thing stand in your way is your willingness to do what it takes to have enough time to do everything you want.  I live by that and by far I am living by my principle, sometimes it is even funny when people start to think I am free all the time while honestly in my not so busy day probably I do more than what they do in their super busy day; what makes that possible is how I manage my time. 

Since I have been asked again and again what I do differently I decided to write this post, it might help someone or open someone's eye to really simple yet crucial habits to adapt to have better control over your time because eventually as Victor Hugo said “He who every morning plans the transactions of that day and follows that plan carries a thread that will guide him through the labyrinth of the busiest life.”

Let's start!

Stay healthy:

          My first advice might tune off a lot and sound very mainstream but the truth is; if you won’t invest enough in your health then there is no point in going through the next 7 advises, without a healthy body and mind life is chaos as simple as that and if you will not commit to your own well being you will never be able to commit fully to anything.

By staying healthy I don’t mean to be a fitness freak, just try to sleep enough and by enough I mean whatever give your body the rest it needs between 6 – 8 hours a day, for me, I need 5-6 hours of a sleep a night but it took me lots of experiments to realize that because if I sleep less than that I get tired or if I sleep even 30 mins more than that I get sleepy all day. 

Eat clean, which is a very obvious thing, but to explain I don’t mean stick to broccoli every day, just have at least 4 balanced meals that respond to your nutrient pyramid, activity level, and calories' need and don’t make a habit of snacking on coffee, energy drinks or junk food that makes your brain less responsive and your body lazy because it drives the blood flow to stomach instead of your brain. 

Exercise, the most hated word in the world but researches have shown over and over again that exercising 2- 3 times a week have a very positive impact on your brain and body and allow your body to release hormones that keep you happy and focused, no need to mention that committing to exercise help you to stay on track because you learn discipline. 

Last but not least in this point, have some rest and stay still, have some time each day to read a book, meditate, browse your favorite blog or even listen to music in your coach or watch a movie this will help your active body to regenerate and get ready for another crazy day.

Create healthy habits:

           Again very mainstream yet very important, for a lot of people especially creative people habits, mean boredom. I was myself very much in a war with the routine until recent years, I hate to do anything the same way and I am extremely rebellious toward the idea but experience taught me that having a few healthy enjoyable habits can go all the way of resolving commitment issues. I am that kind of person that loves change and enjoys the challenge so if you want to kill my soul just put me in a routine. But what I am talking about now is creating healthy habits and routines, like sleeping in the same hour each day and waking up the same hour each morning, exercise regularly  or even have a systematic structure for your days, that according to many neurological researches help your brain to create a pattern and eventually doing this routine activities without much effort which will give your brain the capacity to work on more important issues instead of working on simple everyday activities. Routine and commitment go hand in hand to achieve great results so I think it is important to use habitual routines to facilitate the work for our amazing brain a little bit.

Organize your life:

          Now we are heading to the more serious advises managing time, for me as an OCD person organizing stuff, lists and charts are like a religion to me I enjoy them and they make me feel happy and relaxed but I can guess that some people might think of them as chores, a waste of time or unnecessary activities but the truth is spending sometime organizing whatever you will be doing not only eliminate a big portion of mistakes but as well make it easier and more efficient  because when you prepare you will have to schedule and when you schedule you to prioritize and when you prioritize you assess and when you assess you analyze risks and by analyzing risks you expect challenges and accordingly you prepare a plan to resolve them .. or at least you should! Preparations allow you to stay on top of your time management game and make you more efficient personally and professionally which will have uncountable benefits to your life that you will only realize when you start practicing them.

Task Management:

           My favorite part of the process because not only it allows you to know a lot about the task in hand but also discover much about yourself and learn so much about your own capabilities, while you manage your task you are obliged to know what type of task it is and accordingly which time is better to do it. For example  for me when there is a creative work to do I need my full brain capacity and silence to be able to hear my own thoughts so I usually, do anything needs creativity very early in the morning when my brain capacity still in its peak and everybody still sleeping, simple yet needs a lot of investigation. 

Another aspect of this part is multitasking, many people suck in multitasking accordingly don’t do it even if you have to, shifting your focus and your brain from task to task waste time. Staying in the same activity until it is completed is the best thing for everyone or at least with the same set of activities that require the same level of mental and physical activity accordingly you finish faster because your brain is uninterrupted which allow it to process things faster and better. even if you are from the few who manage to multitask brilliantly better not to do it unless you have to, shifting your focus between so many things is waste of time and exhausting so avoid it as possible. 

Finally, sit your goals; you are doing this task for a reason, know that reason  very well it will allow you to better plan your timeline and prepare for the task and accordingly, sit a realistic deadline. Deadlines are important even when you don’t have them create them they allow you to finish stuff and move on, don’t ever say I will stay here until I finish this task, rather sit a specific time to finish it, let’s say after quick assessment you think it will take you 2 hours to finish the task, if it is not important give yourself full 2 hours but if it is an urgent thing then give yourself an hour and a half only to shift your brain to work harder and be prepared for anything, add to that we have to know that most of the time we spend 30 to 40% of the time doing the really important  work while 70 -60% we spend either to manage distractions or do unnecessary activities, be smart about your work and always think out of the box before you start working on anything think of what is the most important part of it and start from there, that will make your life much easier.

Efficiency

           This word can be the best word on my dictionary, I always debate that try to do things better, try again then try again until there is no possible way to do it better. Why is that? Because while trying to do things better you learn what not to do and what is the best way to do something, it teaches you a lot of lessons on efficiency and equips you for the future with better judgment and by that you become more efficient. Efficiency teaches you to use your time wisely, like when you are heading to a meeting and you know you need to be there 30 mins in advance, schedule to do something unimportant meanwhile, like replying to emails or return short phone calls that will give you more time later to focus on important tasks. Or while you are commuting to somewhere read the news or check your social media that will make you eliminate doing unnecessary stuff in necessary times. 

Another aspect of this point is connected with the previous point, learn how to do more by doing less, know what matters the most and do it first leave the least important for another time when you have a less hectic schedule, always keep your eyes on the goal and that will make you realize what is the shortest way to realize your goal, always ask yourself what is required from me to achieve this goal and that will give you the answer of how to do the task. That will as well teach you to delegate the things that less important or any other person can do, don’t be afraid to delegate let others do what you can’t or you won’t manage to do that always will take off your shoulders. Add to that never feel bad to postpone something that can be postponed, if something is not urgent and you know you can do it better tomorrow or if there is an important thing and you don’t have the focus or energy to do it, just put it aside and choose a better time to do it that will allow you to find more time for the task you have in hand and later to do a better job at the task you postponed. 

Eliminate distractions:

          Distractions are the viruses of time management, as unscheduled meeting, unnecessary conversations or daily emails; they make you feel stressed and take lots of time that you can devote to what really matters. As part of life and your time management activity, you need to learn how to expect and manage distractions. Simply learn to say no to unnecessary meetings and conversations, be polite and refer them to another person or reschedule them for a better time, keep your eyes on your priority and eliminate anything else, leave emails for times while you are on the Taxi or in the waiting room and stop checking facebook when you have a report to finish for an approaching deadline, that will allow you to finish faster and go back to your daily activities faster. 

When necessary isolate yourself, ask not to be interrupted and get your work done a lot of people function well with the absence of distractions so if you are easily distracted or a person who can’t handle distractions just get yourself alone and do your work faster and with greater focus.

Know yourself:

          If this is not obvious by now I will make it more obvious, to be able to manage anything in life you need to invest in self-knowledge, you need to know your strengths and weaknesses, you need to know your capacity and how you handle stress, all that will help you prepare and manage your time more efficiently, don’t be afraid to say I am not good at this and delegate it to someone who can do it better. I for instance have a really bad eye for systematic details accordingly I make horrible mistakes when  it comes to revising documents or similar stuff, I am not ashamed to admit that and ask other people to do, I am in the other hand fast in doing any task, so when there is something will take another person one hour to make it I think of an extra task because I know I will finish that task in 30 mins. That gives me the advantage of preparing things in advance and not starting then get surprised in the middle of it by the obstacle I might face. 

Always always ask questions to understand better, I know it is sometimes annoying or embarrassing but it is better to ask than to get stuck, for me, I hate to ask questions for some reason so I found another way to acquire knowledge, I simply research my questions, I usually know that I will have the questions while doing the task so I just go and google whatever I want to know and learn while preparing for the task, that works for me because it keeps the information fresh and in my disposal whenever I do something and that requires deep knowledge of what you can and can’t do and how to manage different situations.

Utilize Weekends:

          Last but not least, weekends are awesome and we wait for them all week, but don't ‎ make that restrict you from using 2-3 hours to finish something or do something that will make your next week start right. Usually, we waste so much time during the weekend doing nothing, use a small amount of that time to lower the workload of next week, if you can set a couple of hours on the weekend to do something important do it, you will be thankful for that next week when you have that crazy Monday where you have 24 hours to do 48 hours load of work. But be careful of how to use your weekend, don’t ever take more than a couple of hours a day because after all you need to re-energize and have some rest or even have some fun, working on weekends is the worst thing you can ever do to yourself or your time management process. The weekend is for rest so let them have their function if you will over work yourself during the weekend you will have half of your energy to do your work during the week so better to leave things for work days and enjoy your weekends and regenerate your energy, this way you go back to work with great attitude, clear mindset and rested body which will impact the results you will have during the week. 

But by saying have fun during the weekend I don’t mean to drink yourself to death or jump all over the place and exhaust yourself, even more, try to have fun but learn to have some rest too. For example, try to party on Friday so you have Saturday and Sunday to recover and never plan something too exhausting on Sunday, leave your Sunday to chill and prepare yourself for the next week, it will pay off on Monday when you wake up so energized and ready for another week.

             I know .. I know by now you think that time management is a hassle and better kept untouched but trust me when I say that, it is an effort that soon you will be grateful for and by the end of the first month you commit to this you will start to get used to it and don’t feel it as a burden, rather than an enjoyable lifestyle that you will be so proud of, no one can say life is easy, neither do time management, it is one of the hardest tasks and that’s why you see many people failing at managing their own time but when you manage to do you feel the satisfaction of doing a hard thing that not anyone is able to do. And certainly, in the long run, your skill will pay off in different aspects of your life professionally and personally. That’s why the most successful people on earth rely on their habits and time as their source for success and they admit over and over again that something like waking up early or committing to some activity got them where they are today, try to do that yourself and you will be the person harvesting the fruits of your discipline and commitment.